A newly discovered fragment from the Book of Jobbing. Translated and © 1999 by Steven G. Hashimoto, Chicago IL. You may forward this but PLEASE include this credit! If you don't, you're probably just another Jobbing Weasel!

...And so it was that a decree was issued by The Office of Noah to the leader Nebulon, and Nebulon gathered his minions together.

"Rejoice!" he said, "for we have a Job!
"And it is during the afternoon of a weekday, and it is the slow season!"

And the men of the House of Nebulon did rejoice.

"Is it a wedding?" one asked.

"Is it a mitzvah?" cried another.

"Is it a war?" tremulously asked another.

"No. my children, it is a Corporate Gig. The client is the Pharaoh Ramesses, and it is the Dedication of his new Pyramid Complex!"

And the men did dance for joy.

"Gather your finest raiment and marshall the chariots, for we leave immediately!" cried Nebulon, "for we must cross the desert in order to make the hit on time!"

And the musicians of Nebulon did scurry to their hovels and gather their finest clothing, and their instruments, and their water-bags and cheese-wheels, and all set off across the Great Desert, and their number was great.

Presently they arrived at The Pyramid Complex, whereupon they were stopped by a Warrior.

"What business have you here?" he asked, eyeing the horde with suspicion. "We have no need of more slaves, as the Pyramids are completed."

"We have come to provide music for the Pharaoh," Nebulon told the guard. "I am the Great Leader Nebulon, of the House of Noah the Contractor."

"Wait here," the guard said, and rode off to get clearance.

Two days did the host of Nebulon wait until the guard returned, saying, "You are to go to the Pyramid of Cheops for your Security badges."

"Our thanks, esteemed guardian," said Nebulon, and they set off for the Pyramid of Cheops.

And it was not until the setting of the sun that they arrived at the Pyramid of Cheops.

"We are of The House of Noah the Contractor, and we have arrived to play music for the great Pharaoh 5 days hence. We have come for our Security badges."

"Wait here," the guard said, and rode off for instructions.

At dawn he returned with a scroll of papyrus.

"Enter here all of your names, as well as descriptions of your musical instruments, and the license plates of your chariots, and the names of your horses."

With much grumbling this was done. And each man was given a medallion of copper to wear about his neck at all times, upon penalty of death.

"And now thou art to take your chariots to the Pyramid of Khufu, there to unload your equipment."

"And we are to perform there?" asked Nebulon, with hope in his voice.

"Truly I know not," saith the guard, "but I have heard whispers in the winds that the pagaent is to be held at the Pyramid of Gizeh."

"Then may we not take our instruments and chariots directly to that Pyramid?"

"It is not my job to know anything," the guard said, and wandered off to cook a jackal to break his fast.

And so the men went to the Pyramid of Khufu, and indeed were made to unload their instruments, the horns of brass and the reeds, and the drums and cymbalons, and the bells and ouds and zithars and santours and zarbs,and made to carry them by hand to the Pyramid of Gizeh, a mile away.

And when they had arrived at the Pyramid of Gizeh with their horns of brass and the reeds, and the drums and cymbalons, and the bells and ouds and zithars and santours and zarbs, they were met by a Flunky who inquired of Nebulon, "Art thou the band?"

And this is how Nebulon acquired the name He Who Seeth Not The Forest For The Trees, for he replied,
"Yes, we are."

The Flunky looked them over with dismay, for they were dusty and their feet bled and were bound by rags. "I think I shall put you in the corner."

So the Men of Nebulon did set up their instruments, their horns of brass and the reeds, and the drums and cymbalons, and the bells and ouds and zithars and santours and zarbs, in the corner, and settled in to wait wait for the appearance of the Pharaoh.

But presently did appear a stunning young woman who sniffed the air with suspicion, and and asked for Nebulon.

"Who told thou to set up here?" she cried. "This is all wrong!"

"But it was certainly your Flunky who instructed us thus," moaned Nebulon, prostrating himself at her feet.

"No, no, and no! You will have to move to the other side of the Pyramid!"

"But is that not the side that the sun shines on at noon?" cried a sideman.

"That is no concern of mine," said the Party Planner. "That is where you will look the best."

"But is that not next to the Plain of Camel-Herders, who curse and beat their animals all day long?" cried another sideman.

"Then thou will have to play loud, I guess," said the Painted Woman.

"And is not the pagaent to take place here?" asked Nebulon.

"Yes, but thou are hired merely for atmosphere. And by the way, where are your turbans? Did we not ask for turbans? Get thee hence!" And she left to consort with a hyena, and the men of Nebulon got hence.

And so for three days the Band of Nebulon did play in the sun for the Camel-Herders and the occasional lost guest, and for the jackals and vultures, and during the night they were assailed by the Women Who Sold Themselves and by Thieves and Cut-throats.

And they ate sand and the occasional sand-rat, and had no wine to drink. And some of the men did slip away into the night to become Bedouins, and to raid caravans.

And on the last day of the gig did finally appear the Great Pharaoh Ramesses, who looked drunkenly upon them, and inquired of no one in particular, "We had a band?"

And then he staggered back to his guests.

And so it was that The House of Noah the Contractor and The House of Nebulon the Bandleader were able to say that they had worked for The