I've pondered day in and out on my purpose in life. I try to dissect my actions in search of an understanding as to why I do the things I do.
I've pondered day in and out on my purpose in life. I try to dis[s]ect my actions in search of an understanding as to why I do the things I do. My good traits and character are over looked due to poor decisions I’ve made. Transforming into who I am has been a journey. Knowing my past and seeing my present unfold into a lucid future is motivation to keep climbing the many mountains ahead. On the outside looking in I’m just another guy trying to make it. Peeling the payers back you’ll see struggles, pain, and trauma. The closer you get to the core you’ll see a strong modest man with the potential to subdue adversaries put in my path.
For a very long time not knowing intentionally I was at war with myself and others who crossed my path. I could go into my past in detail but my past does not define who I am. Never forgetting that, using the lessons learned to continue to find value in ones self. Have you ever had the feeling of being dead but you’re alive? I have. It’s like physically being present but your mind and soul is lapsed. You suffocate from your own being. A path of self destruction is all you see ahead. No purpose, no core, just heartless. I had to bury this person to blossom into someone I’m proud of.
I’m far from where I started with much more to accomplish. The stride in my walk says I’m here with a purpose to fulfill. Taking pride in the simple things I do. Even better just having this inner peace with myself that make[s] so simple. To actually be alive inside and out is a wonderful feeling. I’m physically incarcerated but mentally free. To go through the fire and come out standing is a blessing in its self. The walls around me don’t define who I am. I’m much more than a number or inmate. Self discipline and self motivation has molded [page break] me into a man on a mission.
Many things in my life I wish I could change but can’t. This learning experience continues each day. Knowing God has a plan I move in whatever direction he leads me in. Trials come and go. I just make use of the lessons I learn from them. Hoping my story can help someone to not walk the same path I've walked. Turbulence can shake you on the take off just be sure you land smooth as possible. So who am I? The answer is something I’m still in search of. However, I can tell you who I am not.
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