Introduction:

Recent changes in the roles of Bangladeshi family networks, and the impact on marital stability deserve attention. The present situation in Dhaka i.e., economic hardship combined with greater educational and employment opportunities for women, influence of western mass media and particularly the growth of individualism and so on, have brought the discussion of family to the forefront. In Bangladesh, traditionally a woman's sphere of activities has been her home. Her functions cluster around reproduction and the attendant occupations e.g. child rearing and household management. Since the present economic strain has compelled many housewives to work outside the home, and the employment of women, which is relatively a new phenomena, has upset the traditional balance of norms and values. So it is not unreasonable to hypothesize that wives' entry into the wage economy might cause some strain on their marital relationships. Moreover, many analysts conclude that women's increasing independence and autonomy due to their involvement in the job market contribute towards the increasing divorce rates.

The purpose of this paper is to summarize the findings of an initial pilot study in 1991, in Dhaka city, and to explore the issues of marital instability among working wives. Bangladesh is a region of strong patriarchal values, imposing many rules of seclusion, taboos for the female members of the society.

Mandelbaum (1988) has stated in his book, " Women's Seclusion and Men's Honor in India, Bangladesh and Pakistan" that in these regions, like others of the Indian cultural sphere, Muslims share the assumption that hierarchy pervades gender as well as most social encounters are presumed to be between a superior and a subordinate" (p 12). He also noted that women's participation in secular public affair was once minimal, but now many Bangladeshi women can vote, and participate in public occasions. Still males are suspicious of such trends, because they suspect that such public behavior by their wives would damage their family honor. In such cases, they could even terminate their marital relationship by sending their wives to their natal family or annulling the marriage. Women's position in many respects is lower than that of men, especially in the family. From early childhood, a female child is made fully conscious by her environment that she is a liability for the family and should play a very submissive role, unlike her brothers. Men have propagated cultural and religious beliefs that women are by nature inferior.

Women in Bangladesh:

Bangladeshi society considers motherhood the most desirable role for the women. And family responsibilities are more important for women than personal careers. Interestingly, even educated girls in urban Dhaka are still trained by their mothers to be submissive and taught the twin virtues of patience and sacrifice, as marriage is viewed as the main goal of a Bangladeshi woman's life. Girls also learn to accept their inferior status in the society and to fit into socially acceptable roles. However, it is an accepted norm that a husband needs his wife mainly to perform the domestic roles and satisfy his wishes, while a wife needs a husband as her provider in all respects. Only when a woman performs her socially designated roles and efficiently will she be ensured a position of some dignity within the family. Mandelbaum (1988) also argued that, women who achieve success in the broader society provide another means of contributing to a family's izzat, which may lead to their acceptance in new roles. His study considered the implications for that society- and its concern for men's honor- posed by this challenge to one of the most salient features of its culture.

Methods and Limitations:

This study started with the hypothesis that married womens' involvement in job market has some negative effects on their marital harmony. Marital relationships are a very private and intimate matters. It is therefore, very difficult to collect data for research of this nature. Most of the interaction between the couples is carried out in their homes and away from the public gaze. Bangladeshi women usually express serious reservations about talking their marital affairs with strangers. Therefore, I did not follow any strict sampling technique to gather information. I studied 30 individual cases of married working women in urban Dhaka, those who were known to me and willing to talk alone with me personally. Therefore, this small sample is not adequate for a rigorous test of the hypothesis. Rather, consider this project an initial pilot study about the impact of wives' employment on marital relationships. Interviews with my 30 respondents focused on the following issues namely: the nature/type of the wives' occupation, income difference with their husbands, the wives' time for household chores and in the work place, and their socio-cultural backgrounds. The interview pattern was more likely semi-structural. It is important to note that, I do not have the benefit of data about the husband's attitudes.

Another limitation of my study, related to the issue of representativeness (i.e., the characteristics of the sample versus the characteristics of the true population). I attempted for sample from different socio-economic backgrounds, educational levels and occupations. My data showed that the mean age of the respondents was 29 years and they averaged 14.5 years of formal education. Most of them worked in private companies, semi- government agencies and in academia. And they belonged to upper, upper middle and middle socio-economic groups. Their income levels ranging from Tk 2000 (Us $ 50) to Tk 15,000 (US $ 350) per month.

Very few research materials on Bangladeshi family/marriage issues, especially in an urban context, was an another obstacle to test my hypothesis adequately. However, there are substantial research materials found in India, which assisted me to reinterpret in the light of my study (while India and Bangladesh do differ in religious influence, the socio-cultural structures are more or less equivalent). It is also suggested that other relevant factors which contribute to the variation of marital relationships need to be discussed. I believe, despite the methodological limitations, this initial study would provide direction for future research, where I would also include the male interviewees.

Working wives and role conflicts:

In the present situation of urban Dhaka, a single income is no longer sufficient to run the family. Wives' wages have become essential. In this newly acquired roles, the working wives face challenges differing from those of house wives, because in most cases the working wives' multiple role involvement disturbs other people's expectations and their great range of demands. However, under inherited gender norms married working women find themselves torn and tired, and suffer from guilt when working outside, guilt that they may be neglecting their children and home. There is no doubt that wives often enter work, marriage or parenthood with fixed role expectations of themselves and others, but later fail to fulfill those expectations. This brings about a conflict between what they expect and experience. Previous findings also suggest that role overload can result in stress and conflict. This can happen when one is either required to play two roles at the same time, or to play different roles successively in relation to the same person. A research in Bangladesh indicated that women who assume home roles and non home roles frequently experience conflict between completing role demands. (Begum & Tasneem, 1984). Whereas Goode (1960) used to mean conflicts experienced by an individual because of " felt difficulty in fulfilling role obligations". Role conflict links with many consequences. Fisher & Gitelson (1983) has indicated that role conflict is responsible for substandard performance and a host of dysfunctional affective and behavioral outcomes. It is also negatively related to organizational commitment, job involvement, job satisfaction and participation in decision making (Gitelson & Fisher). In addition to role conflict, role-distance and alienation from other members of the family make the situation more stressful.

My data showed that the majority of working wives who favor sharing housework at all times between spouses, think that would result in less conflict. But in reality they experienced maximum maladjustment. On the other hand those who are in favor of sharing domestic works occasionally, experienced less role conflicts than the previous group of respondents. Whereas some women object to men doing housework because of their belief that domestic work is exclusively the domain of women and which brings less marital disharmony.

In this case, they think the bottom line is that it is very difficult for the Bangladeshi wives to constantly communicate with their spouses. Because these women believe that Bangladeshi males are not or do not want to be aware of the growing changes in the society. They also think their husbands have hard time to view home and family work as "our work". Such view means to break the traditional values, even it poses a threat to marital stability. That is why it is still rare for wives to have an equal role in domestic chores and decision making. [appendix 1, not included here] Agarwal's (1988) Indian study showed that married working women are willingly accepting their dual responsibilities as workers and mothers.

Working wives and marital instability:

It has also become evident that the relationship between couples and the character of family life have become more varied and complex than in the previous generation. Now the nature of the dual earner relationship and their marital stability are not only determined by internal factors but also by many other external factors. I have seen the "marital stability" of my respondents under the umbrella of "marital adjustment", which Kapur (1970, p 46) points out whether there is any agreement on basic values, affectionate intimacy and certain other unidentified factors.

My female interviewees believe that men think they are taking over male professional roles. This threatens men's sense of patriarchal power, and leads to marital disharmony. These women also agree with their husbands that jobs empower women and they sense their husbands fear and resent that. But surprisingly, these women themselves are not glad of it, due to the negative impact on their marital harmony.

Kapur's (1970) data suggested that as long as the wife's job status, income, and total number of hours worked do not exceed their husband's, the degree of conflict may not be that acute. Like Kapur's work, my study also showed that the working wives who are superior to their husbands in educational and income levels, they are likely to suffer more tension and dissatisfactions in their married life. That means the more a working wife is successful in her job, the more she loses her success as a wife. Whereas, a successful man in his job will make him a desirable husband. It supports our traditional view- that male to have a career and the female a job. Which implies that the males must have greater economic resources and powerful roles than the females.

In few cases, however, working wives begin to think that they are not obliged to tolerate their "socially defined position" and believe themselves as capable as their husbands. This may hurt the male ego of Bangladeshi husbands, and thus bring multiple tensions to the marital relationship. My findings showed that majority of the respondents experienced an incompatible attitude of their spouses and other family members towards their multiple roles and status complex. This leads to less intimacy, sharing, talking on a daily basis. Overall, my respondents showed strong reservation when I asked them about their sexual relationships, they told me they never experienced disharmonious sexual relationships. It represents the strong religious and societal taboos against talking about very intimate relationships with others. [appendix 2, not included here]

My data suggested that the degree of marital disharmony is related to how much time the working wives spent on their jobs. Among the respondents, those who started their jobs before marriage and continued with breaks, are in a better position to make their marriages well adjusted than those who work without giving any breaks i.e., for child rearing, family crisis, or other social obligations. [appendix 3, not included here]

Interestingly, the husbands who spend more time for their jobs or travel outside due to their job, hardly experience any family pressure or have any negative effect on their career. Therefore, this situation produces more mental and physical pressures on their working wives due to the added responsibilities. Actually there is a great confusion and disagreement regarding role expectations. The dual earner couples do not know their exact roles in this transitional period. Some traditional roles are not being adhered to rigidly and the new roles are not fully settled. So, in most cases, working wives are confronted with culturally defined roles in which they have to act, and at the same time with the responsibilities and duties connected with their employment. The main problem of married working women is how to harmonize the two roles at home and work.

Marital stress is found among those working wives who fail to pay due attention to and take care of their husbands and children, or fail to take as much interest and pride in wifely and motherly roles as the husband wants. My respondents consider difficulties in child rearing as the most important problem. It is a major source of anxiety for them, due to the absence of reliable persons for taking care of their home and children (specially in urban settings, where joint families are breaking up and there is a scarcity of efficient domestic servants).

In Bangladesh Ilyas (1990) found that virginity and good upbringing of the daughters is the most important concern for the working mothers, and consequently they experienced anxiety and role conflict.

Working wives are viewed as economically advantageous, if they successfully accomplish their wife-mother roles. Only success in this balancing act pleases the husbands. In India Sharma (1986) found that women who started their jobs before marriage could continue to do so after the marriage due to economic necessity, they get less objection from their husbands. My data showed the women who work due to economic necessity, enjoy a greater percentage of marital happiness than those who worked mainly to achieve their own status and recognition. [appendix 4, not included here]

The husband's approval of his wife's employment has a very beneficial impact on marital adjustment. Because most jobs require women to work with men, husbands tend to become suspicious towards their wives' character. That usually strains their relationship. Interestingly, in analogous situations a husband does not face open suspicion when he mixes with other female co workers. So, we might say role conflicts among couples reflect the foreignness of the idea of equal human worth, which complicates their marital life. A cosmopolitan or modernist ideal of equal human worth conflicts with a culture in which family honor is defined in terms of female sexual virtue.

Sometimes a dichotomous attitude is seen when economic pressure forces a wife to take a job, and all the family members enjoy the economic advantages that her job brings, but dislike her changing role and status at home. They do not accept her neglecting traditional roles as result of her employment. A Bangladeshi woman gets more respect for her role rather than as a person.

Although many Bangladeshi married women are gainfully employed, the traditional domestic pattern remains unchanged as one of male dominance and female dependence. Even if the wife works outside, her work in the domestic sphere remains compulsory. When this culturally defined pattern is not maintained then it contributes to stress, depression, conflict and negative assessments of marital quality. Shukla's (1990) Indian study has shown that the majority of middle class working women experienced more stress and strain in their marital relationships, because these women do not like to give up their jobs and at the same time they can not contemplate divorce, which damages their family prestige.

My data suggested Bangladeshi urban women are changing faster than the men. This changing tendency may be crucial for redefining their marital stability.

From this study it would be difficult to suggest a particular reason for marital instability, but it can be said that a wife's job affects her gender ideology and practices within a marriage. Although this study does not suggest any remedy for marital instability, but if we could establish a harmony within the existing social structure, economic reality and individual's needs, then we would be able to facilitate marital harmony in the case of "dual career couples." That would require redefining the role of employed married women, otherwise marital conflict will be perpetuated. Since people in Bangladesh are moving slowly beyond the traditional gender definitions of themselves, so we can predict eventually that marriage may be strengthened and enriched rather than contributing to marital disharmony.

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